AkuRoku - The Pajama Virgin - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Space Ranger Virgin

"Eat lead, spider scum!"
It was Friday night, and Xion had come over to play Skyrim like we had promised last week. We usually used my systems to play games, because I had beanbags and a bigger TV than her, which I guess she liked.
She had just killed about three giant spider creatures with a sword in her left hand and shield in her right.

"I don't think that sword's made of lead," I was holding a pair of nail clippers, which I used to skin my own flesh.

"Shut up, it is now. And stop picking your hands… it's really gross," she hadn't diverted her eyes from the screen that blared light in her face.
I ignored her and continued to destroy my ring finger. I was so used to people telling me to stop picking that the commands had lost their meaning.

Abruptly, she paused the game and, with effort, stood up from out of her beanbag chair. "I have to piss like a fucking racehorse."
That was Xion for you… she couldn't have been any classier.

As if on queue, the second she passed under the doorframe leading out of my bedroom, my cell phone vibrated from under me. I strained my hand to reach for my back pocket. Beanbag chairs are a lot harder to move in than you'd think.
Finally, I retrieved the long and thin cellular object, and saw the name 'Axel McCullough' starring back at me on the screen.

I should probably tell you that this last week had gotten me closer to Axel than I could've ever imagined. Now being in his first and second period class, we had conversed more, and become more friendly toward each other. Well, I wouldn't necessarily consider him a friend, I saw him more as a very good acquaintance.  

We had talked about our lives during art class, shared our interests, and a few jokes along the way. We exchanged numbers yesterday, and I ended up texting him more often than I thought I would.
I seldom gave other people my cell phone number, much less text them.

Xion and Riku didn't know how close I'd gotten with Axel. The two of us talked more in art than in science, so they never really saw us hanging out. Sure, they'd probably noticed us exchanging a few friendly words here and there, but nothing as intimate as what we shared in art.

Art class had become a gateway to therapy. It's hard to explain… but I felt like we could share anything with each other. We kind of just told our secrets without worry, and, to be honest, it really felt good. Art class does that to you. I don't know if it's the creative energy, ability to talk, or paint fumes, but once you become friendly with someone in your art class, they're going to end up knowing your entire life story by the end of the year.

"I hate my parents." He had said on Wednesday, while eating a Granny Smith apple. He always had a Zipblock bag with green apple slices during second period, and usually ended up giving me half of them.
"Why?" I was eating one of pieces. It was extremely sour.
"They just… they piss me off, " he dug into the plastic bag for another bite. "They're hypocrites."

I had then found out that his parents were separated, but hadn't divorced yet. They dated other people though, which Axel detested.

I told him about my parents, but felt kind of guilty when I did, because they were still happily marry and successful. He didn't make me feel badly about it though. I think he understood that their business wasn't mine, and I shouldn't be blamed for having the 'perfect couple' as mom and dad.

"My best friends don't like me." I shared in return. I had never really admitted to this… not even to myself. But it was a matter that orbited my mind constantly. A part of me tried to convince myself that it wasn't true, but when I said it out loud, my heart sank and I never felt so sure of the matter.

"Xion and Riku?" He asked, working on a doodle in his sketchbook. Axel's drawings were extremely disturbing. They usually consisted of deformed creatures, gore, and monsters. He mainly used ink, for the sole purpose that 'graphite had an ugly color'. Right now he was drawing a monkey in knight's armor holding a decapitated head.

"Yeah." I had been working on canvas for Xion's gift. So far I had drawn the basic sketch, but hadn't added any color. "They rarely ever talk to me anymore… and when they do, it's about stuff I'm not even interested in."

Axel nodded. "I know the feeling."

Anyway, like I had said, I learned a lot about him during the last week. He told me he had Aspergers syndrome, which surprised me, because I wouldn't have been able to guess had he not told me.
Later that night I looked up the autism on Wikipedia. I wanted to understand Axel as much as I possibly could. I wanted to help him. After what Xion had said that day in Anatomy, that she told she thought he cut himself, I began seeing Axel in a different, more vulnerable, light.
I didn't want to believe it, but I couldn't help but begin noticing that he'd always wear long sleeve shirts or jackets, even with this hot weather, and would look at his wrists a lot. I wanted to ask him about it, but I couldn't. It'd be rude and insensitive… plus, I was afraid to.
Especially if he had Aspergers… I didn't want to put someone (whose already so socially impaired) in that position.

I was hoping to read the text and send it before Xion came back because I knew she'd ask me who I was texting, and I really didn't want to tell her. I wasn't ashamed of being friends with Axel, but I knew Xion would say something rude about him, and I didn't want her to. I knew I'd get defensive, and God knows what would result of that. It's a subject better left unsaid.

"Hi." was what the entire text message read.

"Hi… what's up?" I responded. I had a feeling something was wrong, because you don't just send 'Hi.' to someone without having something specific to tell them.

Quickly after sending mine, a new grey speech bubble appeared on the left side of the screen. "I don't usually text people."

"Neither do I." I smiled as I typed. "What's the matter?"

I heard the toilet flush from the next room, and impulsively hid my phone in the front pocket of my sweatshirt. I don't know why the heck I do these things. Every goddamn thing makes me nervous as hell.  

Xion yawned as she walked back in my room. "Miss me?"

"You pee too fast," I said, adjusting the strings on my pajama pants.

You see, Xion and I had this weird tradition (don't even ask me how it started, I have no idea) that the first thing we do when we're together is change into our pajamas. It was how we liked to play video games… and we always argued on the pronunciation.  

I don't care how long you've been speaking the English language; if you say 'Pa-JOM-ah', you're dead to me.

She was wearing her regular black tank top and blue pajamas pants, which had Chihuahua's with reindeer antlers all over them. I was wearing my usual grey hoodie and Buzz Lightyear pajama bottoms. I've had them since eighth grade, and if I could, I'd wear them to sleep every single night. I loved them more than life itself, which was pretty scary.

My phone vibrated way louder than it usually did, and unfortunately caught Xion's attention.
"What's that?" she said, unpausing the game and continuing whatever quest she was working on.
"Uh… an email," I lied as I began to read the lengthy text Axel had sent me.

"I feel like shit. I know it sounds weird but can I just call you? I need to talk to you, I feel like I can tell you anything. You're my best friend Roxas."

My eyes must have been gaping, because I whispered 'Oh my God', under my breath, and I never whisper 'Oh my God', under my breathe. Xion asked me what was wrong, but I just told her I'd be right back.

I replied, "Sure, hold on." as I walked into the bathroom that Xion had just used. I was still shocked over the fact that he called me his best friend. It almost made me feel guilty for referring to him as an acquaintance.

Locking the door, I sat myself on the lidded toilet seat and stared at the wall in front of me as I waited for his call. I hadn't ever spoken to Axel on the phone before, and I was kind of nervous too. I get nervous about everything that's unfamiliar to me. It's a problem that I really had to work on.

Eventually, my phone started to vibrate like crazy, and my heart skipped a beat as I pressed 'Answer' on the screen.

"Hi." I said, still sitting on the toilet.

"Hi… I usually don't call people," his voice was the same, even with the small amount of static coming through the receiver.

"Neither do I," I was staring at the towel rack, imaging Axel's face in front of me as I waited for him to speak. "What's wrong?"

"My mom's pregnant." His voice sounded like he was fighting tears, and I could hear sniffling coming from the other end.
"I… She told me… and I got mad… and I yelled at her… and she… she kicked me out of the house."

I didn't know how to tell him I sucked at comforting others
Don't get me wrong, the news not only surprised me, but also even upset me a little. I wanted to show him that I shared his pain and sympathized, but I didn't know how.

"Wh-Where are you?" I asked, subconsciously scratching at a scar on my face.

"I'm in my car, just driving. I don't know where I'm going. I'm just… I'm just driving."

"Wait… you're driving while talking to me? Axel that's against the law-"

"Fuck the law, Roxas! Look, it's really adorable that you care about following the rules and all that but right now I really don't give a flying fuck." His voice had risen, and he sounded really upset.

"I-I'm so sorry," was all my vocal cords allowed. Wow Roxas… really? That's all you have to say?

"Look, I know it's last minute but… can I crash at your place tonight? I don't have anywhere else to go…"

I had no idea what to tell him. I couldn't turn him down… the poor guy was in need of a place to sleep and just found out traumatizing and surprising news. But I couldn't let him come over… I was already with Xion.  

"Uh, I'll ask my mom…" I felt like I dork when I said that. "Um, what about Demyx? You're friends with him, right? You can't go to his house?"

"Demyx?" He paused. "… Demyx and I aren't really friends anymore... I'm way closer to you.  Besides, his parents don't let other guys stay the night because one time his dad walked in on him having sex with another boy."  

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I didn't. I had no idea Demyx was gay, but I wasn't even going to focus on that right now. I had to find my mom and talk to her about the matter. She'd know what to do, she always did.
"Hey, Ax… can I call you back?" I said, standing up off the toilet seat and making my way towards the door.

It was silent on the other end for while, and then he eventually spoke, "You promise you'll call me back? You're not just going to hang up and ignore me?"

"Of course not…" I reassured him. His lack of trust depressed me. I wondered if anyone had ever hung up on him and not called him back before. "I'll call you back, I just need to talk to my mom, okay? I promise." I said right before I ended the call and opened the door.

"What was that all about?" Xion yelled out from my bedroom. She hadn't stopped playing Skyrim, which sort of bothered me.

"Nothing." I answered, walking quickly to my parents' room. "I'll be right back, just keep playing without me." I don't think the last half of that sentence was necessary… I knew she would've kept playing without my permission.

I was practically running to my mom's closed door, and I started yelling for her before I even reached it.

"Yeah?" She returned my yelling as I flung the door open. She was lying on her bed with her reading glasses on, a book open in her lap.

"I need help," I said, sitting myself down on edge of her bed.

"Oh, sweetie," she removed her glasses from the tip of her nose and placed them on the nightstand next to her. "Did something happen between you and Xion?"

"No," I panted and shook me head, for running all the way to her room had exhausted me. I was really out of shape. I didn't have time to let her keep guessing, so I just went straight out and starting explaining.
"Um, you see, I have this friend… and… he doesn't have a place to sleep for the night because his mom kicked him out of his house…"

I ended up explaining everything to her, only I left out the part about his mom being pregnant and them getting into a fight. I told her about how I didn't want Xion to know about our friendship, and I told her how he had called me his best friend and made me promise to call him back.
I told her about how he didn't have anywhere else to go because I was the only one he had.

My mom stopped to think, then finally asked, "Do you want me to drive Xion home?"

I didn't know how to answer. I was conflicted between to very important people. "I… I don't want Xion to leave, but I don't want her to be here if Axel comes… and Axel needs to come because I'm the only person he can turn to."

"Maybe you should talk to Xion about this," she began to stroke my back in a very comforting motherly sort of way, "what's the worst that can happen?"

"I just don't want her to know we're friends. I don't know why, but I think it's just better if I didn't. You know how Xion gets sometimes…"

"Well," my mom stopped petting my back, "if she's really your friend then she'll let you be friends with who you want. And if this Axel boy needs a bed and roof over his head for the night, you can't just turn him down."  

That was just the problem though… I didn't know if Xion really was my friend.

---

I decided the best thing to do was just straight out tell her, as if it were no big deal. I'd just come out and say it. I'd tell her that Axel was coming over and that was that and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Axel… McCullough?" She had dropped the controller in shock and, as a result, was killed by a wolf on screen.

"Is there another?" I chuckled nervously while picking at the back of my neck.

"I didn't know you two were friends." The tone of her voice was so cold I was surprised her breath wasn't visible. She picked up the controller again slowly, and slumped back into the blue beanbag.

"Uh… well we kind of are." I wasn't sure if this was a lie or not. "We talk a lot in art class and stuff. He's really not that bad."

"He cuts himself," she repeated.

"Okay, well…" I stammered, unsure of how to respond to that statement.  "He doesn't have anywhere else to go… and he's really upset. So, he's going to come over here. Okay?"

"No." She turned her head to glare at me with a look that could have killed.

"W-Why not?"

"Because… I don't like Axel McCullough. And we're having fun without him. I don't want him coming over here." She took a sip out of an apple cider bottle that had been leftover from New Years Eve.

"What'd he ever do to you?" I was raising my voice without realizing it, getting upset with Xion for being so insensitive.

"Ugh! I just don't want him coming over!" She was now yelling and narrowing her dark eyebrows.

After looking into her harsh blue eyes for what felt like an entirety, I finally took in a deep breath, and said, "Well then leave."

"What?"

"You're not my only friend Xion." My cheeks must have been burning red, because I could feel my body becoming warmer. "And… I'm not going to leave the poor guy out in the goddamn streets! If you don't want to be with him… that's fine. He's sleeping over here whether you like it or not… So if you don't like that, you can just… take your stupid Skyrim and leave!"

She didn't respond, which was way worse than her lashing back at me. Her face softened, and she looked almost sorry for a moment. But then she narrowed her eyebrows again, stood up, and ejected the disc from my Xbox without even saving it.

"Fuck you, Roxas." She showed me her middle finger while grabbing her bag and storming out of my room.

I didn't know why she was angry. I didn't know why she hated Axel so much. And I didn't know why she felt the need to be mad at me.
But right now, I didn't really care.

As I heard her slam my front door in the distance, I pulled out my phone and redialed Axel's number.